Akatsuki Sleepover
by Raenef the 6th
Summary: 5 year old Itachi goes over to five year old Kisame's house.  Pure Crack.  Collab with Music in the Dark.
1. Chapter 1

Hello, peoples. This is Raenef the 6th and Music in the Dark as co-author. We've decided to break out of our Tales of Symphonia genre to bring you this crack-fic of Naruto.

Mitd: We don't own Naruto, because if we did, this would actually happen, and it would explain why Kisame always listens to Itachi.

Me: Two things to note. One, Music in the Dark hasn't had the opportunity to watch Naruto all that much, and two, this would take place in an alternate Universe where Kisame and Itachi are 5 years old, yet still have the same powers as their older selves. Enjoy!

* * *

**Kisame's House**

We find our victims-I mean- heroes, at Kisame's house. One odd fact to notice about Kisame's house is that it's partially underwater. The basement flooded which was convenient for Kisame's dad, who was a shark. Don't ask. Any way, our fools-I mean friends, are playing video games in Kisame's room.

"Kisame, why do you have so many Spongebob Squarepants video games?" asked Itachi in a helium induced voice as he whooped Kisame at his own game.

"I dunno. He seemed kinda tasty when I first saw him." Kisame replied, attempting vigorously to turn the tide in the game, and fail miserably.

"What does that mean?"

"Well, I'm part shark. I have a tendency to eat things that are aquatic."

"Oh…what's aquatic mean?"

"Umm…I think it means from the sea."

"Oh." Itachi continued to flip more burgers than Kisame, to his frustration. Finally, after beating Kisame again, they turned it off and went to the kitchen to get a snack to feed their little 5 year old bodies. Kisame made sure to keep the sugar away from Itachi. The last thing he wanted right now was a hyped-up on sugar, 5 year old Sharingan wielder. Bad memories.

"Hey Kisame? Can I sleep over?" Itachi asked with a cookie in his mouth. Kisame put away his goldfish and yelled to his mom.

"Hey, Mom! Can Itachi sleep over tonight?"

"Sure, just don't break anything like last time!"

You see, the last time Itachi slept over, he accidentally set the kitchen on Fire with Atameratsu (Spl?). They couldn't put it out for a week. They had to eat out again and again!

"Yay! I get to sleep over at Kisame's!" Itachi yelled in a sing-song voice. He jumped up and down in chibi-form.

**Later that night**

"Boys! Time for bed!" Kisame's mom exclaimed to them as they threw kunai at dummies that looked like a certain Fanny Bandit. He has been stabbed many times, and Itachi just kept on throwing them.

"That'll teach you for trying to seduce my little brother!" Itachi yelled as he threw kunai lower and lower towards a certain spot that is painful to be hit on the male anatomy.

"Itachi, you don't have a little brother." Kisame said as he watched.

"Nuh-uh. My mom's belly is big again, and that means I'm gonna get another brother soon!" Itachi argued, holding his hands above his stomach for emphasis.

"Whatever. Let's get some sleep." Kisame said as he went inside to change into his goldfish pajamas. Itachi changed into his shuriken pajamas and climbed into bed.

Kisame did the same and turned off the light, saying "Good night, Itachi!"

"Good night, Kisame." Itachi rolled over and went to sleep.

**A few minutes later**

"Kisame?" asked Itachi quietly.

"Hmm? What?"

"Can you get me a drink of water?"

"Ughh…hang on." We hear the pitter-patter of tiny feet across the wooden floor. Kisame soon returns with a glass of water.

"Here you go." Kisame said, handing it to Itachi. Itachi soon drank it all and put it on the lamp stand next to his bed.

"Good night, Kisame."

"Good night, Itachi."

**A few more minutes**

"Kisame?"

"Yes?"

"I'm hungry."

"Then go get yourself a snack."

"But it's dark and scary and I can't reach!"

"I can't reach it either!"

"Can you help me?"

"Okay."

They proceed to the kitchen. We hear large explosions as well as screams of jutsu, metal clashing, stuff catching on fire, and cookies being eaten. We hear them come back up slowly.

"…That was cool. I wanna do it again!" Itachi whispered excitedly.

"No! We're going to bed! Now, good night!" Kisame whispered quickly.

**Poor Kisame…**

"Kisame?"

"Ughhh…What?" He whispered sobbingly.

"I gotta go!" Itachi whispered.

"Go where?"

"No, I gotta GO!" Itachi pleaded, jumping up and down holding his pants.

"Oh. Second door on your left."

"Oh…never mind. It's okay."

"...Wha-OH MY GOD!" Kisame leaped away from Itachi and hit his head in the wall, yelping in pain. He gets up rubbing his head and goes to change Itachi's sheets. He comes back a few minutes later to find Itachi…in his bed asleep.

"Well…at least one good thing finally happened." Kisame said as he went into Itachi's bed and soon started to drift off…

**Oh, for the love of god**

"Kisame?"

"No."

"Can you read me a bedtime story?"

"It's 12 O'clock at night, Itachi. Go…to…SLEEP!" Kisame whispered vehemently.

"…Kisame…" Itachi said demonically. Kisame slowly turned around to see Itachi with his Sharingan active.

"Right. Which one do you want to hear?" Kisame said quickly, as he pulled out all the books he had.

_15 minutes later…_

"…and they all died. The End." Kisame finished, and closed his book. Itachi was asleep again, finally. He put the book down and thudded to his bed.

**...I pity him…**

"Kisame?"

Kisame is now crying into his sheets. "Why, Kami? Why did you stick me with this idiot?"

"I need to go to the bathroom again."

Kisame quickly got up, picked Itachi up and threw him through the wall and into the bathroom. He then went back to sleep. Itachi soon finished his business and went back to sleep.

"Fishy, fishy, fishy…" Mumbled Itachi.

Kisame opened one eye.

"Eat fishy, fishy, fishy…" both of Kisame's eyes opened.

"Kisame fishy, fishy, fishy…" Kisame started to get nervous.

"Kisame sushi, sushi, sushi…" Kisame started to shiver.

"Good sushi, sushi, sushi…" Kisame started to cry.

**The next morning (Oh, thank god.)**

We see Kisame at the breakfast table eating cereal slowly, with bloodshot eyes and shaky hands. Itachi walks up with a grin on his face and says "Hey, Kisame."

"AHHH!" Kisame threw his spoon into the air. It came back down on his head. "Wha-what is it, Itachi?" he asked shakily.

"I had this really cool dream last night. I think you were in it, too!" Itachi said happily, ignorant of Kisame as he banged his head against the table in hopeless frustration.

* * *

Author's notes: Well, that's done. I can't believe I just typed that. But, we needed something to do to break our writer's block we've been having, and this is what we came up with.

Mitd: Please read and review…or I'll send this Itachi to your house.

Me: That's too cruel of a punishment.

Mitd: No it's not. A sugar-high Itachi; now that is punishment.

Me: True, so true.


	2. Chapter 2

Welcome to chapter 2 of Akatsuki Sleepover! This one will feature all of the characters we know well enough to depict. So some might be missing.

Music: Is that what makes them missing Nin?

Raenef: Shut up. Just shut up and do the disclaimer.

Music: Raenef the 6th, nor Music in the Dark own Naruto. If we did, we wouldn't be here, desperate for attention. We would also make this actually happen.

Raenef: Enjoy the show!

* * *

We see the camera pan over to a mansion that is hidden in darkness. Upon closer observation we see their mailbox covered by a squirrel, which conveniently hid the name. We go inside the mansion to find Leader inside one of the many rooms, playing DDR. Not many knew it, but Leader needed something to pass the time, and it was either DDR, or snipe the next door neighbor's cat. But, since he was only five, he reluctantly chose DDR.

After beating the song for the 10th time in a row, he decided he had finally gotten bored and wanted something to do now. He remembered his mother once mentioning something called a "sleepover", so he decided to ask her.

"Mother? Can I have a sleepover?" Leader asked his mother, who was…also shrouded in darkness.

"Sure. Who will you invite?"

"…what does invite mean?"

"You know, which friends will you bring over?

"What are…friends?"

"The people you always hang out with."

"You mean my subordinates."

His mother sweat dropped. "Er…yeah, you're…subordinates."

"Oh. Okay, I'll call a few. Thanks, mom." He then walks off to make a few calls.

**Itachi's house**

We see Itachi by Sasuke's crib. He is currently poking his little brother. He does this because it entertains him, and he gets to torture someone. He continued until the phone rang.

"Hello?" Itachi said to the phone as he continued to poke Sasuke.

"Itachi? This is Leader. Would you like to sleepover at my house?"

"…Will Kisame be there?"

"Um…yes, he should be."

"Then yes, I will go." He hung up the phone and grinned evilly as he continued to poke Sasuke, who was now rolling to get away from his fingers.

**Kisame's house**

We see Kisame swimming with his dad in their basement. The only weird thing was the music playing in the background.

**Dun, dun. Dun, dun. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, da-dun. DUN, DUN, DUN! **(Jaws)

Kisame suddenly leaps out of the water and catches the phone in his mouth. Fortunately, the phone was water-proof.

"Hello? Kisame speaking."

"Kisame, its Leader. I was wondering if you would like to sleepover tonight."

"…will Itachi be there?" He asked quivering.

Remembering the incident last chapter, he replied, "No."

"Okay then. I'll see you there."

**Unnamed member's house**

We see our unknown friend, who we shall call Ami, hanging out in a flower garden putting flowers together in a little crown fashion. We also see a random person try to walk into her garden, only to be completely decapitated by a hailstorm of kunai.

A phone then rings nearby, telling Ami to go answer it and ignore the bleeding corpse she left behind.

"Hello?"

"A-Ami? It's m-me, Leader." Leader said nervously… (How cute, leader is nervous about a girl.)

"Oh, hello Leader. What is it?"

"I-I was w-wondering if you'd like to come over for a sleepover with my other…friends."

"Sure!"

"R-Really? YES! I-I mean, I'll see you there!" He hung up the phone and jumped for joy.

Ami hung up her phone and giggled. "He's so cute when he's embarrassed like that."

Another random vict-I mean person, walked up and laughed saying "Haha, Ami and Leader are in-Guuarrgh!" he finished screaming as a Kunai pierced his throat. Ami just stood there and giggled before skipping away.

**Zetsu's house**

We find Zetsu in a greenhouse, posing in a strange position with a lot of sun lamps concentrated on him. He hears the phone ring and groans. Getting up with a little difficulty, he picks up the phone and says "Hello?"

"Zetsu, it's me, leader. I was wondering if you would like to come over for a sleepover with a few of the other guys."

"Sure, I'd love to come over **and eat your flesh and drink your blood!**"

"…Um…okay, if you don't want to come over, just say so…"

"No, no I want to; I'll be over there in a few minutes, as soon as I get my other half to shut up." Zetsu's other half then argued he wouldn't, leaving Zetsu to hang up the phone and Leader to ask his mom what "shit" means.

"Where did you hear that word?" his mother asked in a tone that clearly indicated pain for whoever said it.

"…Dad did." Leader responded.

"I see. I'll talk to him later, you run along now." He walked away, ignorant of his mother's blood-red aura being visible.

**Tobi's house**

We see Tobi bouncing on a trampoline and eating raw sugar while drinking three different energy drinks and coffee at the same time.

… (Holy shit, shouldn't he like, explode or something by now?)

He hears the phone ring and jumps over to it. Unfortunately, he jumped too far and went through the wall. Climbing over the hole, he jumped again, and succeeded in getting the phone.

"HELLOWHOISTHISTHISISTOBIWHOAREYOU?"

"…uh…hello, Tobi. This is Leader speaking."

"OHHILEADERIJUSTATEABUNCHOFSUGARANDCAFFIENEAND NOWIWANTTOJUMPONTHETRAMPOLINEAND-"

"Tobi, shut up! I want to know if you want to sleep over or not." Leader yelled over the sugar-high voice of Tobi.

"OKAY!I'LLBEOVERTHEREREALSOON!" Tobi hung up the phone and proceeded to his room to fetch everything he would need, namely coffee and sugar.

Leader hung up the phone and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "What have I done?"

* * *

Raenef: All right, we're gonna cut it off here. Next time, everyone arrives and the fun begins. Or is it torture? Depends on your view.

Music in the Dark: I think its torture, but hilarious torture.

Raenef: Is there any other kind?

Music in the Dark: No, I suppose not. Read and review!


	3. Chapter 3

Music in the Dark: Hello, peoples! And welcome back to the long awaited 3rd chapter of Akatsuki Sleepover!

(Random audience-in-a-can cheers)

And let's not forget my co-author, Mr. Raenef the 6th!

Raenef: WASSUP!

(Crickets chirp)

Raenef: (sweat drops) Tough crowd…

Music: Remember, we own nothing except this crack-fic, understand?! (Gets really close to the camera, eye twitching)

Raenef: Let's just get on with it; they don't want to listen to us because…

(5 pages later)

Raenef: and that's why they call it proctology. Any questions? By the way, we found out the real names of the Leader and the unnamed member, so they're fixed.

(Audience preparing every spell, weapon, and just for kicks, bombs, to use against the authors.)

Music: JUST GET ON WITH IT!

* * *

Right after calling Tobi, in fact, right after putting the phone on the hook, there was a knock on the door. Pein wondered who it was.

'Hmm, probably Kisame. I called him first after all.' He goes to the door. "TOBI?!" he exclaimed.

Indeed, it was Tobi. "HIPEINI'MHERENOWANDI'MHYPERANDREADYTOPARTYAND-" Tobi suddenly freezes. Pein takes a step back. "Tobi?"

"I say, do I smell biscuits?" Tobi said, suddenly standing tall and looking over Pein's shoulder, and talking with a strange accent.

"If you mean cookies, then yes." Pein answered. Tobi then resumed his usual state and charged into the house, and straight to the kitchen. Pein sweat dropped and shut the door, when it knocked again. Turning around and opening the door again, it revealed Kisame.

"Yo." Kisame said, waving his little blue five year old hand. He held overly stuffed bag over his shoulder. Noticing Pein staring at it rather than him, he simply said, "Fish food."

"Ah. Right then, in you go." Pein said, letting him in. He went back into the house again, only for the bell to ring a third time. Growling a little now, he opened the door to let Konan in. He suddenly started shaking.

"K-Konan! H-h-hi!" He said nervously. Konan waved a hand and replied. "Hello, Pein. Thanks for letting me sleepover!" She grinned.

"Right. No problem, anytime. Oh, here, why am I standing in your way? Come right in." Pein said, stepping aside. She skipped in, not noticing Pein jump for joy.

He then shut the door, only to hear a strange rumbling to his left. Looking at his potted plant, he watched it shake as suddenly Zetsu's head popped out of it, pushing the dirt and plant up above him and perched on his head.

"Why are you in my potted plant, Zetsu?" Pein asked nonchalantly.

"I was aiming for your yard. **And your dog.** Guess I missed, then?" Zetsu asked, climbing out of the pot.

"Yep. Make sure to dust your feet off." Pein said, sweeping away a little dirt. Zetsu started to walk off, when Pein cleared his throat and pointed to his head.

"Oh, yeah." Zetsu takes the plant off his head, and puts it back in the pot. He starts to walk back with Zetsu when the door knocks…again.

**In the main room**

Everyone else was greeting each other and watching as Tobi ran just about everywhere he could. Occasionally running over someone, but that's not important. What is important is that he had…cookies.

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Tobi exclaimed as he ran around the walls. "IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTTTTTTCOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKIEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSS!"

Everyone else just watched in awe and slight fright as he continued to bounce off the walls…literally. Finally Pein walked in. "Tobi, sit."

Tobi stopped running and sat obediently at Pein's feet. "Tobisat. Tobigoodboy?" He asked, tilting his head.

"Yes, Tobi. Now continue to be a good boy and be quiet and sit over there." Pein instructed. After Tobi did so, Pein addressed the others. "Seeing as how everyone isn't here yet, we'll play DDR to pass the time." Pein pointed at the huge T.V he had set up in the living room, accompanied by two DDR mats.

"But, I don't wanna play DDR." Zetsu whined. "Plants can't do DDR, man. We're too slow."

"I don't wanna either. It's against my fishy religion. I don't know why, but it's forbidden to play DDR. Sorry." Kisame said as well.

Pein sighed at this complication. "Very well, then. Tobi, Konan, you'll be first." They walked towards the mat and were about to start when suddenly…

BOOOOOOOM! A large explosion sounded and smoke filled the room.

"Everyone relax! I have arrived!" a mysteriously familiar voice rang out. The smoke faded revealing…Itachi! He stood inside a rather large hole made in the wall.

"Itachi! **That bastard!** Shut up!"

"…my wall…"

"Itachi?"

"COOKIES?

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Guess who said that.

"Kisame!" Itachi leaped toward Kisame and glomped him. Kisame proceeded to try to stab Itachi with a kunai, and when that didn't work, he tried to slit his own throat. Unknown to him, his mother had switched out all of his weapons for plastic ones.

"Drat." Kisame said as he accepted his fate of being stuck with Itachi again.

"Now that we're all here, we can all play DDR! Of course, I'll win." Pein exclaimed, proud of his own obsession with the game. Itachi suddenly leapt forward.

"Not this time, Pein. I will defeat you and your mad DDR skillz." Itachi said as he stood on one of the mats. Of course, Pein wouldn't take that lying down, since Itachi has never played DDR in his life.

**5 minutes later**

Everyone was staring at the screen, amazed by what they had just seen. Pein a master of the game had just been beaten on the hardest song, at the fastest speed, on the highest difficulty… by a newb.

"Holy…**shit**…" Zetsu said, both sides shocked by the performance.

"Whoa...PRETTYCOLORS!" Tobi said, his eye stuck on the screen and its flashy graphics.

"I had no idea that Itachi could do that…" Kisame said. He was hiding behind Zetsu.

Konan said nothing due to her eating a pocky stick.

"And that's how it's done." Itachi said as he walked off the mat, leaving Pein in his shocked state staring at the score.

"I didn't even see you move…" Pein said, crying fake little anime tears at his loss.

"Genjutsu." Itachi replied simply, taking an offered pocky stick form Konan.

"I will have my revenge! I CHALLENGE YOU TO A PILLOW WAR!" Pein exclaimed, standing heroically on top of his couch, his trusted pillow in hand.

"I ACCEPT!" Itachi yelled, jumping on the same couch.

**3 minutes later, in the livin-I mean, battlefield.**

"Alright men…and woman."

"Thank you." Said Konan.

"We can take these idiots down easy. We know that Zetsu's too scared to hurt me or Konan, so I'll leave him to you Kisame."

"Right." Answered Kisame, cocking his pillow, which actually made the sound of a gun being cocked.

"Konan, you can take Tobi, because you're the only one who has enough patience to get him. Remember, he's sugar-high, so be careful.

"Don't worry, I can take him." Konan said, grinning evilly. Pein sweat dropped and scooted over a bit.

"That will leave me with Itachi, the toughest of them all. It will be a difficult fight, but I believe we can do it." Pein said dramatically, his clothes actually billowing behind him, thanks to a conveniently placed fan.

"Now, TONIGHT, WE DINE IN HELL!" He was about to charge when his mother suddenly burst into the room.

"PEIN! WHO TUAGHT YOU THAT WORD?!" his mother exclaimed, energy brimming around her again.

Everyone cowered in her presence, even the stoic Uchiha. Pein however, being used to it, merely pointed towards his father's room and said "Dad did. I heard him use it."

"I see. Don't use it again, okay dear?" she walked off towards Pein's dad's room. She shut it and they heard the lock click.

Ignoring the incredibly loud yells of pain and anguish coming from behind the door, Leader turned to the others and said "So, we ready?"

* * *

Raenef: Well that's done. The next chapter, _Pillow wars,_ is going to be the second part of this chapter. I split it in two to make it easier to read and to not bore you.

Music: Didn't we plan to make that scene really kick ass?

Raenef: That we did, my friend. Read and Review!


	4. Chapter 4

Raenef: It's time for chapter 4! Pillow Wars! As well as a new addition to it, called episode 1: The Fanny Bandit Menace!

Music: Who the hell is the Fanny Bandit?

Raenef: It was your idea, idiot!

Music: Oh, Yeah. On with the pillows! And the warring! And the…the…Tobiness!

Raenef: We own nothing, remember that! It'd be too much responsibility!

* * *

The group had divided into its two teams for the Great Pillow war of…98'! Even though it's 2007! On one side stood the Jedi, Pein, Konan, and Kisame! On the other side, Zetsu, Tobi and Itachi, as the Sith Lords!

"Why did we call ourselves these names again?" Zetsu asked Itachi.

"Because it's a parody!" Itachi exclaimed. (Both authors stop typing and stare at the screen in horror.)

"What's that **you bastard?!**" Both Zetsu's asked.

"Something to do with a fourth wall. Who cares, let's fight!" Itachi exclaimed, much to the relief of the authors. He leapt forward with a cry of "There can be only one!"

"Wait, that means he's gonna kill us too! AHHH!" Zetsu exclaimed to Tobi, who had chosen to take this time to nap while standing up.

"No, I'm not gonna do that…yet." Itachi said quietly, which just scared Zetsu more.

"Can we start now?" Pein said across the battlefield of…20…square feet. (Shut up and read!)

Kisame raced forward crying, "Revenge! I will avenge the loss of my bladder control!" leaping forward at Itachi. Itachi suddenly held a hand up, making him stop.

"You fight Zetsu, not me." He air-scooted Kisame over to Zetsu and put him down, while Kisame was still in the air. "Now, keep going." Kisame then resumed and crashed into Zetsu. And the fight was on!

Itachi squared off with Pein, both staring each other down like a crappy anime or western. Suddenly, Itachi threw a shuriken-shaped pillow at Pein, who easily dodged it. He then heard a second whooshing sound and turned to see a second pillow!

"Oh, no! The shadow pillow Jutsu! A second pillow in the shadow of the first!" He exclaimed in various mock-dramatic poses, before getting a mouthful of pillow. As he fell, Itachi jumped for joy. "Ha, two points!"

Pein quickly got up and charged with his own pillow to avenge himself. "I'm not done yet!" He said, upper-cutting Itachi with the pillow and sending him flying.

Meanwhile, Kisame and Zetsu were fighting equally, with curse words being emitted every once in awhile. That, however, is not what should catch your attention. What should catch your attention is the fact they keep getting knocked over by Tobi, who's trying to run away from Konan and her twin pillow attack.

Suddenly, Tobi had a burst of courage (or was it stupidity?) and turned around to face Konan. He suddenly leapt forward towards her, forcing her to raise her two pillows to guard. When suddenly, he…latched onto her arm…by glomping it.

"Tobi, let go of my arm." Konan said simply, waving her arm once.

"Nooo…you'll kill me…" Tobi, argued, as Konan began to shake him more.

"Be that…as it…may…you need to…let go of …my…arm!" She said, banging his body now against the wall in-between every few words.

"Nooooo!" Tobi whined, ignoring the spasms of pain.

"I'll give you a cookie!" Konan offered, which made Tobi immediately let go and kneel down, holding his hands up.

"Uh…I was lying, Tobi." Konan said simply. Tobi's visible eye widened, and he suddenly rushed Konan, pinning her against the wall and holding her neck. This would leave an indentation of a little five-year old girl, which Pein would later declare sacred and make a shrine.

"COOKIE! NOW!" Tobi exclaimed demonically. Konan shook scared and yelled, "Okay, okay! Just put me down!" He quickly let her down, and she gave him a cookie hidden in her sleeve. While Tobi chomped on the cookie like any five-year old would, Konan rubbed her neck, and quietly said "oww."

What she didn't realize was that her voice echoed over to Pein, who was defending himself from Itachi's fire jutsu, which was really just a big flame shaped pillow. He heard her voice and everything stopped. His eyes shot open, and the Rinnegan was active. "Konan…" Suddenly, the One Winged Angel theme began to play. (We couldn't find the correct lyrics, so just play it if you got it, or find it yourself if you don't have it. It's awesome.)

Everyone turned to watch as Pein started to levitate up, an aura clearly visible around him and much more menacing than his mother's. Speaking of his mother, she conveniently walked outside the door to hear the music and see her son levitating. Going back inside, we hear lots of locks, metal doors, brick walls, and a "Do not disturb" sign being built.

Tobi merely watched the whole time, saying only one word. "Shit."

Pein suddenly charged at Tobi, faster than the eye could see, leaving a large cloud of dust and feathers in his wake. Tobi quickly dodged the assault due to his extreme sugar-high. Everyone else had stopped watching and was now running to avoid being hit. Except for Konan, who absent mindedly chewed a pocky stick.

Eventually, Tobi was cornered, and Pein prepared two actual Kunai, not kunai shaped pillows mind you, and attached two explosive notes to each. Tobi merely said "Oh, double shit."

Pein then threw the kunai, and performed the shadow Kunai Jutsu, multiplying them into millions of kunai with explosive notes. "Oh, triple shit!" Tobi yelled before cowering and waiting for the inevitable pain.

However this was interrupted by the doorbell, which made the kunai stop in mid-air, the song stopped, and everyone looked at the door. "Zetsu, go open the door." Pein told Zetsu, who quickly obliged. Opening the door, it revealed…the fanny bandit himself…Orochimaru!

"Hi, guys!" Orochimaru exclaimed waving. He suddenly stopped and observed the scene in the living room. "Am I interrupting?"

"Zetsu, move." Zetsu did so, and was glad to have done so, since Orochimaru was then blasted by a hail of Kunai, which promptly exploded. And then exploded again, because the authors don't like Orochimaru.

"Crap, I'm bored now. Let's watch a movie." Pein said, now in a calm state, making everyone fall anime-style. And thus ended the first Great Pillow war of 98', even though its 2007!

* * *

Raenef: Next chapter, Pillow Wars 2: Attack of the Shadow clones!

Music: Yay, Star Wars parodies! Screw getting sued!

Raenef: Says you. Read and review, please!


	5. Chapter 5

Raenef: (rummaging through garage full of crap) how the hell did I get this much stuff

Raenef: (rummaging through garage full of crap) how the hell did I get this much stuff? All these wasted ideas… (Picks up one paper)…what the hell is "Akatsuki sleepover?"

Music: (pops up randomly) that's that one fic for Naruto we tried to do, and then we got bored…

Raenef: (Jumps) how the hell did you get in my garage?!

Music: Don't care how I did. Though I do know it involved a house key, your dog, the mailman, George W. Bush, nuclear weapons, and cheese.

Raenef: …….

Music: I'm joking. Remember? You leave your house key right by the door?

Raenef: …right….

Music: Well, then. Let's get on with it! Here's the next chapter! Attack of the Shadow Clones!

* * *

After deciding to watch a movie, everyone present at the sleepover decided to watch _The Lion King._ Of course, halfway through the movie, though it may be due to their short attention spans, they stopped paying attention. That is, everyone save for Tobi.

"Oh, my god! He threw him off a cliff! What a meanie!" Tobi exclaimed, a tear poking out of the hole in his mask.

"Tobi, its computer animated. It's not real." Pein stated. Then he stopped. "Wait. What's a computer?"

"Heck if I know." Itachi said, munching on Popcorn. Itachi found he really enjoyed popcorn. "I like popcorn. Almost as good as fish." He said smiling.

Kisame paled. "Stay away from me. I'm watching you!" he said, scooting away from Itachi.

"Hmm…I'm bored." Pein said. He got off the couch and walked off to the kitchen. Seeing that no one but Tobi was interested in the movie, everyone left Tobi to sing along to the ever-annoying songs of _The Lion King._

"Tobi likes music. THE CIRCLE OF LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFFFFFEEEEEEE!" He sang shrilly, causing glass all over the house to break. Pein walked back in with a broken glass.

"My milk…"Pein said quietly, mourning the loss of his milk.

"Tobi sorry. Tobi just enjoys music a lot. And talking about Tobi in the third person!" he explained, patting Pein on the head.

"Oh well. I'm over it." Pein said. Tossing the glass out the open window and onto the damaged body of Orochimaru, piercing his skin with the broken glass. (Hehehe…)

"I have an idea!" Konan burst into the room from the ceiling. "Let's kill things!" she said happily, one of her favorite pastimes.

"Nah. That's for later." Tobi said. "Pein, what do you think?"

No reply.

"Pein?" Tobi looked around.

Still nothing.

"Pein? Where'd you go?" Tobi looked around, and saw that Konan had conveniently landed on Pein to break her fall.

"Oww…my body…"Pein said, muffled since his face was implanted into the floor.

After getting him back up and dusting him off and apologizing, the three to be villains walked back into the kitchen to see Zetsu and Kisame trying to take the popcorn bowl away from Itachi.

"Give us the popcorn!" Zetsu and Kisame exclaimed. Itachi tugged back.

"No! My popcorn!" Itachi replied. The tug of war continued for about 30 more seconds, until the bowl broke away from both sides' grips. It flew in the air, and slowly flew down, with everyone watching in slow motion, until it crashed on the ground and broke, spilling popcorn everywhere.

Itachi looked at the bowl, as everyone else waited fro him to go badass again and try to kill Zetsu and Kisame. He looked up…

…and began to cry.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Itachi cried, showering tears everywhere with huge spouts from his eyes.

"MY POPCORN! MY PRECIOUS POPCORN!" Itachi cried.

"Um, Itachi?" Zetsu stuck a hand out to comfort him. Itachi swiped it away.

"Don't touch me, popcorn bowl breaker! There's only one way for me to forgive you! I challenge you to a shadow clone tag game!" Itachi exclaimed. Everyone gasped dramatically, until they realized they didn't know what Itachi was talking about.

"Do what?" Zetsu asked.

"It's simple. We play tag, but with as many shadow clones as we can make. And when you tag a clone, they explode!" Itachi explained, clapping his hands in happiness.

"Um, okay. Sure. Where can we play it?" Kisame asked.

"Why, the entire house of course!" Itachi said, much to Pein's dismay.

"Why did I do this in the first place?" Pein said, shaking his head as realized that his house would probably be destroyed soon.

"Alright then! Everyone, make as many clones as you can!" Itachi exclaimed. Everyone then formed the most clichéd hand sign in existence, and smoke filled the house. Once the smoke cleared, we saw many copies of Pein, Zetsu, Itachi, and Konan. Kisame sat there, since he couldn't do shadow clones yet. His dad was going to teach him, but he was busy with casting for his next job in _Jaws._ That and the hand signs he did were more like him clapping his fins together.

"Good thing I can do water clones!" Kisame said, forming his group.

"Okay then, since Tobi apparently forgot to make clones," Itachi said, with everyone observing Tobi trying to reach the cookie jar, "He'll be it. Everyone hide!" And with that, everyone and their clones dashed off to a part of the house, leaving Tobi to stand there with a cookie in his…mask.

"But, I didn't get to make my clones…" Tobi said. He then noticed he had access to the kitchen…and all its sugar. "Good thing I have an advantage!" He quickly found the items that contained the most sugar and piled them all into a humongous pile of sugar and various things. "SUGAR OVERLOAD NO JUTSU!" Tobi yelled before jumping into the pile and consuming every bit in one gulp without even expanding his belly.

"Now then, let's go!" Tobi exclaimed, dashing off to another part of the house.

* * *

Raenef: Oh dear god…another sugar-high for Tobi…they're doomed.

Music: Yep, they are.

Raenef: …I love my job. Haha!

Music: Read and review!


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